Oh, those poor creatures!

Thoughts that ran through my mind after seeing that this tub of yogurt I recent bought had over 26 billion live cultures.

• Doesn't it give you a creepy feel to know you're eating 'live cultures'? (Next minute, I taste it and like it.)
• Ah, 26 billion live creatures. Crawling under this cap. Helpless, poor. At my mercy. Not knowing what fate awaits them. Just waiting to be devoured.
• There are 26 billion of them. And I'm all alone. I don't even have a knife. Just this spoon to face them with. (Next minute, after 'devouring' a spoonful of them...)I'm a brave hero. A knight in shining armor.
• The whole world holds about six billion humans, and this one tub holds twenty six billion of these organisms. Wow!
• (Before eating my first spoonful) Are these cultures, bacteria the same as microorganisms? Did Colgate really have to show microorganisms with the devils pronged forks in their toothpaste ad? What if these are indeed micro-organisms, and they bring out the forks after I devour them and prick my inners?
• I hope eating these live cultures doesn't make me a 'non-vegetarian' in the eyes of the maker.
• How many living organisms are there in this world, if this one tub can hold twenty six billion?
• How did they count the number? Can I become rich by proving them wrong and suing them for misguiding me?
• How do these poor creatures survive in my freaking cold refrigerator?
• Damn, this yogurt is tasty!

Man, so many thoughts over one tub of yogurt! I'm a genius. In addition to being a knight in shining armor!