Me & Money

I know. I know it should be 'Money & Me' Or maybe even 'Money & I' (whoever understood that rule between me and I?). Yes, my mom has taught me too, that only a fool puts his name first. But that's exactly what I am. Atleast in the issue of money. A fool. For there are few bigger fools in the world who'd have let as many opportunities to make money pass, as me!

The earliest opportunity , if it may be called that, I had to make money was when our neighbor's kid invited me to come with him to dig for gold. I let the opportunity pass. He didn't find any treasures, but he started his own business twenty years later and is minting money. I could've probably been a partner, if I'd been sport enough to be his partner in treasure hunting. I blame that on childish ignorance.

The next that I remember was when this Nigerian General's son whos dad had given him an untold fortune invited me to partake of it, by just opening a bank account. My 'education' did not teach me to go for easy money, and I missed this boat too. When I checked recently, he had been quite disheartened after I refused, and had contacted quite a few people, who are probably millionaires.

Then after I finished my MBA and was young and smart, I decided that opening a hotel was my way to riches. Afterall everyone feels hungry, and everyone needs food! However, I soon got married any my wife cooks well. I'm no longer hungry, and so the motivating force is no longer felt.

I once got a chain letter kind of thingy, where I'd get $3,42,719.25 if I sent a dollar to the person at the top of the list. I did. I didn't get back a dollar. When I cribbed about this to my IIT-ian friend, he took one glance at it and told me that the pence in the amount I'd receive should've told me it was a scam.

Each time I open my newspaper website, there is this pop up which tells me that I can make millions and get a free Ferrari, for only filling in a form, that asks for, in addition to other information, my SSN and credit card number. They'll even give me a free credit report. I filled it once, but just as I hit enter, realize my CC number has the unlucky number 13 (if I look at the seventh and twelfth digits) in it. So there goes another chance.

The last time I was driving on the freeway, the PowerBall lottery winning amount had more zeroes than the number of wheels the jumbo-truck that almost ran over me as I was distracted, had! But no. I don't go gambling.

But I'm not always a loser who chickens out. I've made my attempts too. Armed with my MBA, I entered the stock market. Going hi-tech, I went for demat. Bad decision. Today, I don't even have a piece of paper, that can be used, as they say, to wipe the hind side. My losses btw, have as many zeroes as wheels on that jumbo-truck. Even the PowerBall can't save me, coz there are a few other digits thrown in at random in the loss-figure.

The most recent one was interesting. This guy starts off "So do you want to make another 50grand an year?. How about 100? 150? By spending only 10-12hrs a week. Don't have to quit your job." C'mon dude, I've heard that before. He goes on to say something about this wonderful company that'll sell me their shampoos and toothpastes real cheap, coz they like me and also coz they don't have to pay distributors. And if I get more people to use those, I'll get money. Sounds interesting. The only catch, I have to be happy using their guava flavored shampoo for the rest of my life. That's not a big deal, but ordering toilet paper online is! I also realize I don't have the drive to sell soap and shampoo, which btw was one of my dad's biggest fears when I went for an MBA. I therefore get all conscientious and decide money alone should not be a motivating force.

And so here I am. it's no fun writing about how I kicked my chance to make 150k, coz it didn't give me a kick in the first place! But I guess that's how I am. Trying to get a kick out of writing. And depending on my employer to throw me my daily slices of bread.